Keeping my mind off my body

I'm trying to stay away from the infernal scale and this does make it harder to obsess. I pinch fat and examine muscle and bone, but numbers really make me nuts with their objectivity. I truly feel they measure my worth. Musculature and clothing size and bones, these are far more subjective. Because my perception of these things are often distorted by my mind, I can still assure myself that I am likey not as fat as I see myself. With the scale, all I see is a cold hard number that is too large and can be reduced. It is always too large and always should be less. It always reminds me I used to be thinner and that I should be thinner. When I'm not weighing myself, I think less of my old body and my mental pictures of how I used to look are fuzzy--I never really thought I was thin even at 20 or 25 pounds less, so when I look in the mirror, I see pretty much the same problem: areas of fat surrounded by areas of bone. I always want less fat, 70 pounds or 120 pounds. I know the mirror plays tricks and I can refuse to be caught up in the reflection of my imperfections because I'm busy and there are better and more interesting things to think about. I spend little time in the mirror and less on the scale and this is what is saving me from deterioration.